Costume, Pinup and Vintage Clothing Sale!!! Pic Heavy

♥♥♥HALLOWEEN COSTUMES♥♥♥
Baseball Costume
Size L/XL
$30


Purple Sequin Mermaid Costume
Size M
$50

Sexy Pirate Costume
Size M/L
$10


Head Nurse Costume
Size M
$10


Another Sexy Pirate Costume
Size M
Only the jacket from this image, but I also have a better Hat and Sword that I'll send along with it.
$30

Victoria's Secret Flight Attendant
Jacket Only
Size XS/S
$5.00




♥♥♥VINTAGE♥♥♥



Cherry Print Circle Skirt - $10
Fits about an 8-10
Made it for this photoshoot.



Vintage Frederick's of Hollywood Glamour Swimsuit - $20
Size 16?
It's gorgeous! But it's too big for me. Black las overlay and rhinestones don't make it the ideal outfit for swimming in, but it's great for pinup or glamour shoots, or for a burlesque act.



Red Betsey Johnson dress - $50
Size 8
Worn out a couple of times and in a photoshoot for the August '09 issue of Rebel Rodz magazine. It's super sexy!

Also selling those black stripper shoes in the picture!
Size 9 - $20
Worn about 2 or 3 times. Can't really walk or dance in them, and I've already shot in them.





Cute retro apron - $10
One size


Denim jumpsuit - $10
Size 10?
Super cute!



Vintage swimsuit/playsuit - $30
28" waist, but has some give.
Shot in it a few times. It's a really beautiful piece.



Corset - $20
size 36
The parts that are blue in that picture are black and gold.



1940s Leopard print robe - $40
Used to be part of my burlesque act, so I've worn it a few times.

Fruitful

So I finally decided to head everyone's advice and start making some damn pasties to sell off.

Actually, this was prompted by my realization that I'd been slapped with yet another obscene overdraft fee. I was planning on getting my plane ticket to Seattle for burlycon this week...

Those are the pasties I made for Nori. Silver and black. I know, it's a crap picture. Hopefully she gets a better one out of them.



The other day I made myself a new burlesque costume. I thought I'd use it to dance to High Heels by Mando Diao, but the more I worked on my act the more I realized I have to do something super Spanishy with it. Maybe a tango?

Red and black and dripping with applique. The way everything should be.

Just the bra. I'm pretty proud of it.

The panties still have a way to go before they're done. I thought they'd be for a chair dance, so I didn't attach any fringe. I guess I can fix that now.

Just thoughts...

There's something horrible about the saying "I am beautiful". Forget the fact that it implies the speaker is completely self absorbed. It's usually meant as a reassurance. "I am beautiful, even though I feel like absolute unfuckable shit right now, and at some point I will feel beautiful again." is the unspoken meaning. But even knowing that I can't bring myself to say it.

Slipping into old habits. A while ago I caught myself thinking my hands look fat. Every day I spend a minute more obsessing about my double chin than I did yesterday. Spending so much time obsessing about things that cross nobody elses mind. Or maybe they do. My legs are too short. My torso's too long. Every inch of me is too fat, except my boobs. They refuse to cooperate with the rest of my gigatic body. An awkward, disproportionate mess.

Is this why I have a hard time booking paid work?

Even looking in my portfolio, beauty's hard to find. All the smoke and mirrors, the super talented photographers and makeup artists, the money spent on hair and wigs and eyelashes and sparkley shit, and I'm still just a funny lookin mess.

And now I've got this short blue hair, the polar opposite of the long, sexy black hair I fear I may become known for.

Maybe I'll go back to that. It was boring, but it was attractive.

I'm slipping away from myself. Which is ridiculous because I'm really not. I'm wearing less makeup. I threw out my contacts. I took out my extensions. I'm not constantly in heels and vintage shapewear. I'm being me, supposedly. But it doesn't feel like me. It feels plain. Ugly.

If I'm gonna be ugly either way I might as well be interesting while I'm doing it.

Am I really this shallow? [yes, I am] Have I become this parody of myself? A character that I created in the year between High School and College?

I can't even design anything worth a damn. I've been drawing all morning and I've only got half a collection together. And it's not even good. Maybe I don't know what good is anymore. I've taken all the creativity I used to have in my art and put it into my looks and my burlesque costumes, and those still fall short of genius.

Why am I even thinking all this? Is this the horror that comes with new love? Trying to be good enough, regardless of the constant assurance that I indeed am? Is it because I'm drawing so much today? Is it the damn hair?

That's it, I'm dying it. Maybe I'll feel better then.

This day started out too well is what it is. Too much happiness too early in the day, followed by stress and no punctuation. I woke up to this sweet love note in my inbox. A letter that no response would do justice to. I should have gone back to sleep and followed the reading of said letter with dream snuggles (when real life snuggles are not option, dream snuggles will suffice.) Instead I stayed up to sketch for this stupid portfolio... well it needs to get done. And it shall.

I wonder what my life would have been had I decided to remain a theater major.

Love. In a thread where I was complaining about how I've lost my spark and talent for modeling, someone asked me what moves me. I didn't answer because I don't think I know. I know that I'm self absorbed. And I know that I feel beautiful when I'm in love. When I'm in the moment of love. I don't mean sex. I mean being in the arms of that person. Looking in his eyes, kissing his lips, being completely in that moment. Knowing that I mean something to somebody who means so much to me. For a tiny moment, far from the demons of my past. Salvation through love.

Here I am.

Life is what it has been. Overwhelming and boring and beautiful and horrible on keeping me on the constant verge of sanity.

I think the last time I blogged I was a bit of a different person. Burlesque has become my new obsession. I'm spending far more money on burlesque related things than any sane person would. Costumes, appliques, fans, wigs, tickets to shows. I developed 2 acts that still need a whole lot more work, and performed a few times at the Slipper Room. I want to be good at it.

I want to be good at a lot of things. That doesn't mean I have the attention span or the patience for it.

Arto and I are done and have been for a while. As grand and lively as our relationship was, our breakup was every bit as painful and drawn out.

We still talk. But I'm keeping him at a distance.

There's a new guy in my life. He's absolutely amazing. Incredibly smart, funny, romantic and a constant joy to be around. And he's super supportive. Inspiring even. I don't think I would have worked so hard to put my last act together if it wasn't for his encouragement.

This is the fastest I've ever fallen for anyone. It's scary and great.

♥ I dare say I'm happy♥

I'll be blogging more. I set a goal for myself this coming week. That is to see at least one burlesque show a day for the whole week. That'll be something to blog about.

♥ kita

It's a beautiful day out!

Finally took a swing through Highline Park today. It's beautiful. So New York.

I've noticed that every time I find a new space or a pretty outfit, my first thought is "I wonder when I can shoot it". But really, aside from maybe some fun silly just because pictures I couldn't see myself shooting at Highline. That makes me kinda happy. I'd rather think of it as the new neighborhood park where Arto and I can go to watch the sunset or admire the view.

Check out this freakin' feast!

I love Johnny Rockets. Just what I've needed after a week of being too sick to eat much of anything. A big, juicy, American veggie burger, a cherry coke and fries. Yum!

So the fam took a little trip to Long Island to do a Target/Walmart run. At Walmart I found this gun from a company whose motto is "take it outside". I wish they'd make TV commercials. It'd be 2 dudes arguing in a club and one would be like "you wanna take this outside?" and show his gun to the camera. Fucking genius.

Just thought I'd post these cows. Went out to Queens with Arto this morning. We had a big argument over nothing. Something about how guys want to fuck me. Apparently that's a problem. He went to work. I hung out in Flushing. Found these cows in the Mall. Bought a hair brush, some eyelashes, an outfit for the pinup contest and some ugly shoes. God I hate those shoes. Then I caught up with Arto after works and we went to visit Gabe at the hospital. When we got out it was gross and rainy, so I stayed at his house. The day ended much better than how it began.